People everywhere are turning into James Otto, after listening to his literally infectious song "Just Got Started Loving You." What's it like to turn into James? First of all you stay the same size your were before the transformation, only you acquire one hundred percent of his physical features. For most people, it's a very troubling experience, although others have designs on James' royalities from his songs. Perhaps the person most disturbed by these events is the
original James, who is having greater and greater difficulty proving that he is the real James Otto: "I labored in obscurity for years and now, this....this is too much" James told a Patch eporter before breaking down into tears. Governments are working on the problem of how humans will reproduce from now on, as the thought of two James Ottos making love to one another is.........yeah, it's bad. Native Americans believe that the mass metamorphosis is a sign that the Great Spirit is angry about environmental destruction and trying to wake people up by turning them into hairy James. After all, what could wake people up more than turning into James Otto? John McCain and Barack Obama have taken to wearing name tags to distinguish themselves, and wondering if their debates this fall will have any impact with both of them looking like James. Modeling agencies have experienced mass bankruptcies. So what will society
be in ten years? Just like it is now --listening to Bill O'Reilly make bombastic statements about matters he's only half way looked into, only listener and broadcaster will be in the physical
form of James Otto.
Patch you later!
David Williams
Sunday, July 13, 2008
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