>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>MOST YOUNG MUSICIANS STRUGGLE WITH ODD JOBS WHILE THEY ARE TRYING TO MAKE IT BIG, BUT IT LOOKS LIKE KENNY CHESNEY really put the "odd" in odd with his previously unreported foray into the wrestling world. What's really strange about his brief career on the mat was that it was done as a member of the "WEE WRESTLER'S LEAGUE" where Kenny was known as "THE MIGHTY MUNCHKIN." A video now circulating on YouTube is a little fuzzy, but when the young Kenny is in a headlock you can hear his unmistakably nasal voice begging "OOOOWWWWWWWW PLEASE LET ME GOOWWWWWW!" Kenny was known as a bit of a whiner in the midget world. We interviewed Terribly Tiny who was in several contests with The Mighty Munchkin: "He was the biggest baby I ever met. As soon as we were in the locker room he was like 'Damn, Paul you know it's not supposed to be real. That really hurt!' He would bitch so much we started calling him 'The Mighty Baby.' Kenny liked the money, but Kenny ticked so many people off none of us Little People would agree to wrestle him."
Chesney's publicist was visibly angered about the video: "All I have to say is that what people do in their personal life is nobody's business. What does wrestling have to do with country music. It's not like Kenny sold drugs or something."
Kenny himself agreed to discuss the matter, but the interview was cut short after he became agitated, and fell off the coffee can he was standing on after jumping up and down on it several times.
DG Williams
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
Nine of Ten Failing Banks Headed by Former Fraternity Officers
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Dr. Victoria Chang of the University of California, Berkley reported presented a paper last week at the International Congress of Sociologists describing her research which found that slightly more than 90-percent of banks in the United States rated as failed or likely to fail by an independant auditing board are headed by men who were officers in so-called "Greek" organizations in college. Dr Chang added that "Most of the remaining ten-percent were headed by individuals educated in nations where American style fraternities do not exist."
Congress participants were bowled over by the extremely high correlation between a history of heavy fraternity involvement and bankruptcy. "I've never seen anything like it" said one participant. "Most researchers dream of this level of significance in their work but don't even come close. I am as impressed by Dr Chang's finding as I am appalled at the sickness in our society it illustrates."
Dr Chang provided several reason for the relationship: "Firstly, it is well documented that membership in these exclusive type organizations renders young, undeveloped personhoods into even more immature and narcissistic individuals. Fraternity, as well as sorority membership, deeply instills the adolescent traits of self-centerdness, obsession with status and ruthlessness. At the same time it provides the members with the just the kind of ultra self confidence and political skills which propels these type personalities to the top of corrupt, socially sick organizations where they are in a unique position to do extreme damage to the greater population. "
Another congress participant added: "We've all looked at these kind of groups as amusing or annoying. Now we know they are an endemic pathology which must be arrested before these types bring us all down."
Dr Chang offered a fascinating example of the fraternity personality from one of the original "Greeks" --Alcibiades, a figure from the Pelaponessian War between Athens and Sparta who lived two thousand years ago. "If you'll notice, most fraternities have a startling disconnect between their charter purpose of promoting Christianity and their actual behavior which amounts to a dogged dedication to debauchery and disrespect of the totallity of Christian tenets. Alcibiades, known from ancient times as the most finished Narcissist who ever lived, was known to have mocked the state religion on the eve before the departure of the Athenian fleet for the horrific disaster at Syracuse. The parallels are chilling."
Mike Benson, President of the National Order of Kappa Sigma, disagrees: "Fraternities mold young men into good citizens. Look at our charitable work. Fraternities enrichen their members, and produce our future leaders."
Others are not so sure about "our future leaders." A sociologist at the University of Chicago who asked not to be named informed our reporter that "We have a working group looking at ways of diminishing the place of fraternity damaged individuals in our society. We will begin by making their place in society a matter of question, so that in the future their displacement can occur. Our long range goal is the barring of fraternity members, and most especially former fraternity officers, from getting their CPA, teaching and stock broker's license. It's a matter of survival for our civilization."
.....................................................................................
Dr. Victoria Chang of the University of California, Berkley reported presented a paper last week at the International Congress of Sociologists describing her research which found that slightly more than 90-percent of banks in the United States rated as failed or likely to fail by an independant auditing board are headed by men who were officers in so-called "Greek" organizations in college. Dr Chang added that "Most of the remaining ten-percent were headed by individuals educated in nations where American style fraternities do not exist."
Congress participants were bowled over by the extremely high correlation between a history of heavy fraternity involvement and bankruptcy. "I've never seen anything like it" said one participant. "Most researchers dream of this level of significance in their work but don't even come close. I am as impressed by Dr Chang's finding as I am appalled at the sickness in our society it illustrates."
Dr Chang provided several reason for the relationship: "Firstly, it is well documented that membership in these exclusive type organizations renders young, undeveloped personhoods into even more immature and narcissistic individuals. Fraternity, as well as sorority membership, deeply instills the adolescent traits of self-centerdness, obsession with status and ruthlessness. At the same time it provides the members with the just the kind of ultra self confidence and political skills which propels these type personalities to the top of corrupt, socially sick organizations where they are in a unique position to do extreme damage to the greater population. "
Another congress participant added: "We've all looked at these kind of groups as amusing or annoying. Now we know they are an endemic pathology which must be arrested before these types bring us all down."
Dr Chang offered a fascinating example of the fraternity personality from one of the original "Greeks" --Alcibiades, a figure from the Pelaponessian War between Athens and Sparta who lived two thousand years ago. "If you'll notice, most fraternities have a startling disconnect between their charter purpose of promoting Christianity and their actual behavior which amounts to a dogged dedication to debauchery and disrespect of the totallity of Christian tenets. Alcibiades, known from ancient times as the most finished Narcissist who ever lived, was known to have mocked the state religion on the eve before the departure of the Athenian fleet for the horrific disaster at Syracuse. The parallels are chilling."
Mike Benson, President of the National Order of Kappa Sigma, disagrees: "Fraternities mold young men into good citizens. Look at our charitable work. Fraternities enrichen their members, and produce our future leaders."
Others are not so sure about "our future leaders." A sociologist at the University of Chicago who asked not to be named informed our reporter that "We have a working group looking at ways of diminishing the place of fraternity damaged individuals in our society. We will begin by making their place in society a matter of question, so that in the future their displacement can occur. Our long range goal is the barring of fraternity members, and most especially former fraternity officers, from getting their CPA, teaching and stock broker's license. It's a matter of survival for our civilization."
Sunday, October 5, 2008
RASCAL FLATTS' GARY LEVOX DIAGNOSED WITH DOWN'S SYNDROME AS A CHILD
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..........................EVERYONE KNOWS GARY LEVOX HAS AN INTERESTING PAST. WHAT THEY DON'T KNOW is that due to poor performance on intelligence tests when he was in kindergarten he was placed in a special education class. "They thought I had Down's Syndrome" Gary recently explained. "They thought I was, you know, like Corky."
Fans of the band are sticking behind their idol. One RF Superfan explained: "I don't care if he's a little slow. His music is deep. It touches people."
Gary says he doesn't care if people look at him different from now on. "I know who I am. I make a lot of money. So there!"
Gary also suprised people when he recently revealed the idea for their smash hit "Bob That Head" came from his experiences in special ed. "They had this real messed up guy sitting next to me who would repeat weird stuff all day long. He had two brothers whose names were Bob and Ted. His parents had tried to teach him for years to say their names, they would work with him all day long trying to get him to say Bob and Ted, but for some reason it got confused in his mind as 'Bob that Head.' He would say 'Bob that Head' for hours and hours in this retarded voice. I couldn't
handle it. I made up my mind right then and there that I was going to become a country star so I could be a big success and not sit around with special ed people all day long."
LeVox is also defensive about people who criticize his work: "People say we're pop, people say we're not country. Well, if you don't like RF you can go to hell. The other day I read some critical article about 'Bob that Head' who said it was the worst song in the history of country music, that it was the country equivalent of Jefferson Starships' We Built this City on Rock and Roll a song which was voted to be the worst song in rock history. Well I says 'Fuck you' to all my critics. If some of my fans don't read and write well that's ok. I've never read a book in my life and I'm doing just fine. I touch people with my music."
LeVox isn't giving out many interviews these days because he's consumed with his new passion: fingerpainting. "It's a high art. I love it. I want to have my own gallery one day, and when you walk in to see my finger art, you will hear 'Bob that Head' in the background."
SATIREPATCH
..........................EVERYONE KNOWS GARY LEVOX HAS AN INTERESTING PAST. WHAT THEY DON'T KNOW is that due to poor performance on intelligence tests when he was in kindergarten he was placed in a special education class. "They thought I had Down's Syndrome" Gary recently explained. "They thought I was, you know, like Corky."
Fans of the band are sticking behind their idol. One RF Superfan explained: "I don't care if he's a little slow. His music is deep. It touches people."
Gary says he doesn't care if people look at him different from now on. "I know who I am. I make a lot of money. So there!"
Gary also suprised people when he recently revealed the idea for their smash hit "Bob That Head" came from his experiences in special ed. "They had this real messed up guy sitting next to me who would repeat weird stuff all day long. He had two brothers whose names were Bob and Ted. His parents had tried to teach him for years to say their names, they would work with him all day long trying to get him to say Bob and Ted, but for some reason it got confused in his mind as 'Bob that Head.' He would say 'Bob that Head' for hours and hours in this retarded voice. I couldn't
handle it. I made up my mind right then and there that I was going to become a country star so I could be a big success and not sit around with special ed people all day long."
LeVox is also defensive about people who criticize his work: "People say we're pop, people say we're not country. Well, if you don't like RF you can go to hell. The other day I read some critical article about 'Bob that Head' who said it was the worst song in the history of country music, that it was the country equivalent of Jefferson Starships' We Built this City on Rock and Roll a song which was voted to be the worst song in rock history. Well I says 'Fuck you' to all my critics. If some of my fans don't read and write well that's ok. I've never read a book in my life and I'm doing just fine. I touch people with my music."
LeVox isn't giving out many interviews these days because he's consumed with his new passion: fingerpainting. "It's a high art. I love it. I want to have my own gallery one day, and when you walk in to see my finger art, you will hear 'Bob that Head' in the background."
SATIREPATCH
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