CHINESE DRY WALL ALERT

MILLIONS OF HOMES INTHE US, CANADA AND EVEN AUSTRALIA CONTAIN TOXIC CHINESE DRYWALL. HOW DO YOU TELL IF YOUR HOME CONTAINS THIS TOXIC TIMEBOMB? THERE'S A SIMPLE TEST THAT REQUIRES NO SPECIAL EQUIPMENT. FIRST, YOU CONTACT YOUR NEAREST CHINESE RESTAURANT AND ORDER AN EGGROLL --IT HAS TO BE FRESH FOR THIS TO WORK. NEXT, SMASH THE EGGROLL ON THE SUSPECTED DRY WALL. BE SURE AND SMASH IT HARD ENOUGH SO THAT A QUANTITY OF GREASE FROM THE EGGROLL COVERS THE DRY WALL. LEAVE THE ROOM FOR AT LEAST TWO HOURS, AFTER FIRST TURNING UP THE ROOM'S TEMPERATURE TO AT LEAST 80 DEGREES. WHEN YOU RETURN YOU CAN IDENTIFY THE SUSPECT DRY WALL BECAUSE THE EGGROLL TREATMENT WILL REVEAL CHINESE CHARACTERS --SORT OF LIKE A WATERMARK ON A HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL. MAKE SURE YOU GET A PICTURE OF THE WATERMARK. OF COURSE, PROFESSIONAL VALIDATION OF THE CHINESE LANGUAGE CHARACTERS MAY BE NECESSARY BY A TRAINED LINGUIST. THAT'S WHY YOU NEED TO PHOTOGRAPHS. PLEASE TAKE THIS THREAT SERIOUSLY. YOUR LIFE, AND THE WELLBEING OF THOSE YOU LOVE ARE AT STAKE.

SP