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Wednesday, September 3, 2008

NEW, SURPRISING PROBLEM FOR SARAH PALIN

Seconds after the end of her acceptance speech at the Republican convention, hundreds of pollsters began calling potential voters to gauge their reaction to her performance. Amidst the controversary over her alleged lack of experience, and the investigation into whether or not she influenced the firing of her former brother-in-law from his job as a state trooper, a new quandry presents itself involving her children, only this has nothing to do with an unplanned pregancy. As one poll taker who was quoted put it: "It's difficult to trust someone who gave her children such stupid names." Governor Palin's kids, "Willow", "Piper", "Bristol", "Track" (no, this is not a joke) and "Trig." Although Palin has an explanation for every one of these names, others wonder what kind of names will be supplied to things like ships and national parks should she become vice president. A delegate to the convention who heard her speech first hand, and who spoke only on condition of anonymity, stated "I can just see this woman giving a new aircraft carrier a flaky name like 'Cody Wavecutter Supreme' What the hell kind of thinking is that. Just please, please don't tell me what her kids' middle names are. I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW.

Although some may find the matter to be trivial, these polls show that the negatives on the subject are so strong they could take as many as two points from the Palin-McCain ticket in the popular vote. Several Republican operatives are furious that the matter wasn't more deeply looked into before Palin was chosen. A senior McCain aide: "If she is just going to make up names for her kids, what else is she making up?"

We'll keep you posted on this fascinating story.

Tyler Mason Cody Dakota Hunter Austin Gunfighter Earnhardt Williams

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